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  • [广西快3] [手机访问]

    湖北快3:广西快3

    当前位置: 广西快3 > 鬼故事 > 

    老莫黑段子三篇

    时间:2018-12-10 15:32来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

    广西快3 www.muwbz.com   周末,张雅丽刚回到家门口,就看到一个七八岁的小女孩正坐在自己门口的台阶上,低头抹着眼泪。

      张雅丽上前问道:“小朋友,你是谁家的孩子啊,怎么坐在这里哭呢?”

      小女孩抬起头,眼泪汪汪地看着她道:“我不是这里的人。妈妈不给我买玩具,我和妈妈吵架,然后我就生气地离家出走,偷偷坐火车来到了这里。我已经好几天没吃饭了!”

      张雅丽听了心一软,就把小女孩带进家里,给她洗漱之后又煮了东西给她吃。

      小女孩感激地道:“阿姨,您人真好!要不我和您住一起吧?”

      张雅丽道:“这怎么行7你妈妈不见你一定着急死了,你还是赶快回家吧!”

      小女孩道:“可是我一个人怎么回去昵,您能不能送我回家啊?”

      张雅丽问了小女孩家的地址,一听,正好是自己的老家。她想这倒不错,既可以做件好事,又可以顺便回家一趟,就答应了。

      一路上,小女孩紧紧地跟着张雅丽寸步不离。张雅丽也害怕小女孩再走失,一直守护在她的身边。

      老家到了。

      小女孩说:“阿姨,我先跟您到您家里玩玩,您再送我回家好吗?”

      张雅丽带着小女孩回到了家,一进屋,却见家里坐了很多亲戚。更恐怖的是,客厅中间竟然有她的一张挂着黑纱白花的照片,照片下面,是一口大大的空棺材。

      小女孩接过张雅丽父母给的钱离开了。一个中年男子在门口等着她,小女孩上前撒娇道:“师父,您说我想的这个赶尸的主意妙不妙?”

      中年男子笑道:“你这么厉害,以后师父就没饭吃了。”

      苦肉计

      李小伟所在的班级出现了恐怖的事情:有两个同学上课的时候就在大家眼皮底下神秘消失了。谁都不知道是怎么回事。有传闻说,这两个同学是被鬼吃了,而且吃得连骨头渣都没剩!更可怕的是,这件事还没有结束。

      就在刚才,教室的布告栏里忽然出现了一张告示,上面写着:明日菜单,李小伟,周佳。

      告示上还画着一幅诡异的骷髅笑脸。

      大家议论纷纷,猜不出谁这么大胆,竟然在发生了这么恐怖的事情之后还有心开玩笑。但李小伟认为这不是恶作剧,这就是鬼魂发出的预告。明天,自己就要和周佳一起被鬼吃了,这可怎么办啊?

      他悄悄找到周佳,可周佳却一脸满不在乎的样子。

      李小伟说:“你不怕明天真的被鬼吃了吗?”

      周佳说:“不怕,我已经有对策了。”

      李小伟好奇地问:“你有什么对策啊7”

      周佳说:“看在同学一场的分儿上,我就给你个提示,三个字:苦肉计。”说完,周佳就撇下李小伟走了。

      第二天上课,有同学问周佳:“你们怎么不逃啊?”

      周佳不屑地回道:“鬼真要吃你的话,你能逃到哪里去呢?”

      上课上到一半的时候,教室里忽然发出一片尖叫声,李小伟和周佳瞬间消失了。原来,真的有一帮鬼把周佳和李小伟捆起来带走了。

      这帮鬼把他们带到一个僻静处,下嘴就咬。忽然,咬周佳的鬼痛苦地叫道:“这个人好苦,不能吃!”

      咬李小伟的鬼说:“这个还可以,一起来吃这个吧!”

      李小伟绝望地看着周佳问:“你用的到底是什么苦肉计啊?我把苦胆、苦瓜、苦菜、黄莲,绞成汁涂满全身,把自己变成了苦肉,怎么没用啊?”

      周佳道:“物质上的苦不算苦,精神上的痛苦才是真正的苦。我的计策很简单,我刚刚失恋了。你没听说过吗?失恋的人是这个世上最苦的人。”

      摇一摇

      赵吉自从学会了使用微信摇一摇的功能,就玩得不亦乐乎。只要空下来,他就摇一摇微信,找到周围此刻也在使用微信摇一摇功能的人,开始聊天。通过摇一摇,他的朋友圈扩大了许多,有志同道合一起做生意的,也有爱好相同一起去旅游的。他的女朋友也是通过摇一摇认识的。他们先是在微信上热聊,然后约会见面。相处了一段时间之后,彼此都很满意,女友就带他去家里见父母。

      他拿着礼物去拜见女友的父母,两位老人很热情地招待了他,询问了他的一些情况之后显得很满意,他以为这事基本就成了。没想到第二天晚上,他正在家准备上庥睡觉,女友打来了电话。

      “我妈反对我们相处。”

      他一下急了,问:“为什么啊?”

      女友说:“我妈说你别的都还可以,就是有个毛病,无论站着或者坐着,时不时地都要抖腿,像个小流氓一样,难看死了!”

      赵吉委屈地道:“我没有啊!”话刚说完,他发现此刻自己的一条腿正在不停地抖着。

      挂了电话,赵吉一屁股坐在床上顿时傻了。自己是什么时候开始会抖腿的呢?以前他只在电影里或者街头看到那种流里流气的小混混会有这种抖腿的动作,自己从来没有啊!

      他立即打了几个电话。

      “妈,你以前见过我站着或者坐着的时候会抖腿吗?”

      “老同学,你见过我有时会像小流氓那样抖腿吗?”

      “兄弟,你觉得我有什么让人觉得不是正派人的举止吗?”

      在都得到了否定的答复之后,他更加郁闷了。

      这时候,他发现自己的腿又开始不自觉地抖动起来了。他低头往下一看,顿时吓个半死:一个赤发碧眼的小鬼正眯缝着眼,带着一脸诡笑抱着他的腿在不停地摇晃。他尖叫一声,跳起来摆脱了小鬼大叫道:“你在干什么?”

      小鬼坐在地上抠抠鼻子道:“我在玩摇一摇啊。地府开发了新游戏,只要抱着人的腿摇一摇,就能找到周围也在玩这种摇一摇的鬼朋友。”

      要债

      十字路口,李忧一脸焦虑地对着电话叫道:“爸,你到了没有‘还没到?你快点儿啊!”

      我看着他冷笑了两声,心道:演吧,你就演吧!无论你怎么演,今天不把钱还给我,我一定不放过你!

      李忧放下电话,对我摊摊手做了一个苦脸。我转过身不理他,双手交叉放在胸前,做出一副打持久战的姿态。

      李忧焦躁不安地来回走了两圈,果然耐不住,又拨通了电话:“爸,你到了没有?什么,走错路了’我不是告诉过你吗,门口有很大一个牌楼,你进去之后,有一条黄黄的路,顺着这条路走,前面有一座桥,桥上写着‘奈何’二字。”

      我心里一惊:黄泉路?奈何桥?难道他爸爸在去地府的路上?骗子!我才不信,想吓唬我?没门!

      李忧继续道:“过了桥,你就可以看到很多墓碑了。在东四区十九排,九座。你到了那儿就赶快烧钱,要快!人家堵着我在要钱呢!”

      我心里又是一惊:墓碑、坟地、烧钱,难道眼前这李忧是个鬼?

      我偷偷地打量他两眼:面色红润,满脸油光,身上有人气,脚下有人影,分明是个大大的活人,好啊兄弟,出绝活了啊,为了躲债连鬼都扮上了??上О?,你是吓不住我的!今天不把欠我的钱还来,装阎王爷都没用!

      我走到他面前,抓着他的脖领怒吼道:“别磨叽,快还钱!”

      只见他双腿一哆嗦,一下跪在了地上,冲我磕头如捣蒜。忽然,空中飘下无数张纸币,在我面前堆成了一座小山。

      李忧哭道:“大哥,我真没骗你,你看这钱不是还来了嘛!”

      我捡起钱一看,竟然都是冥币!我怒不可遏地指着他骂道:“你竟然敢拿这些纸钱来糊弄我?!”

      谁知,他一脸委屈地道:“大哥,我给你真钱你也没法用啊!”

    Tags: 女孩 棺材

    本文网址://www.muwbz.com/guigushi/153761.html (手机阅读)

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