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  • [广西快3] [手机访问]

    双色球基本走势图表图:广西快3

    当前位置: 广西快3 > 鬼故事 > 

    老莫黑段子专辑

    时间:2018-12-10 15:41来源:网络整理 作者: 佚名

    广西快3 www.muwbz.com   炮灰

      大学毕业,吴兮和室友们一起去报考公务员。等到发榜的那天她们一看,几百个人里才录取了一个,当然没有她们。

      室友们沮丧地说:“哎呀,成炮灰了,真没意思。”

      不久,室友们又拉着吴兮一起去参加选秀节目,结果海选下来她们又和大部分人一样被刷了。室友们苦恼地说:“我们当炮灰的命运什么时候才能结束啊!”

      一天,突如其来的一场车祸夺走了吴兮的性命。她到了地府准备去投胎,鬼差叫她和一群鬼一起抽签,结果只有个别鬼幸运地抽到了投胎的机会。而吴兮又成为了炮灰一族,连投胎都不能,只能作为游魂在阴阳两界游荡。

      命运是如此的残酷,但吴兮并没有被打倒,它鼓励自己道:“就算永远当炮灰,我也要努力生存下去。”

      这天,吴兮正在阳间游荡,看到另一个游魂在太阳下艰难地走着,马上就要被晒得灰飞烟灭了。吴兮赶忙上去扶着它,把它拉到了阴影里。

      那个游魂在阴影里躺了一会儿恢复过来后感激地对吴兮说:“谢谢你救了我,我一定会报答你的!我的爱人死了,我想自杀去地府找它,可是因为我的阳寿没尽死不了,我就请高人强行让我的魂魄离体。现在我的身体在医院里成了植物人,你可以去附身,用我的身体重新活过来。”

      明媚的阳光透过窗户照在床上,吴兮睁开眼睛坐了起来。它活动了一下身子,拿起床头的镜子照了照自己,看到了一个年轻美丽的女人。

      “美丽的女人”打开窗户迎着太阳说:“任何时候都不要放弃对生活的希望,即使是炮灰,也有死灰复燃的一天!”

      红衣

      听说有人对我恨之入骨,发誓一定要请杀手杀了我,这可把我吓坏了。我立即请了八个保镖,把车换成防弹车,把家里的门换成防弹门,窗换成防弹窗。做完这一切我依然不能安心:不怕一万就怕万一啊!只要哪个地方出了点儿小纰漏,杀手就能抓住机会要我的命,这可怎么办?

      我去求教一位高人,高人想了想说:“这样吧,你把所有的穿戴都换成红色,没人不知道,如果被杀的人死的时候穿着红色的衣服,死后就会变厉鬼,找那个杀他的人报仇。”

      高人就是高人!我立即行动,买了一大堆红色的衣物回家。

      该来的还是来了!这天晚上,我正在家看电视,就听到门外走廊里响起了一阵枪声。我凑到猫眼儿上向外看,杀手正吹着他枪管里冒出的烟,而我的八个保镖都倒在了地上。

      幸好,我的门是防弹的,他进不来。我刚想到这儿,就见门外的杀手拿出了一包炸药,绑在了我的门上。

      我转身匆匆跑回卧室,找出我买的那一大堆东西。我急忙穿上了红内裤、红衬衫、红毛衣、红外套,再戴上一条红围脖,还有一顶红帽子。

      “室”的一声巨响,门倒下了。杀手从一阵烟雾中慢慢走进屋内,举起枪对着我。

      我朝他叫道:“有种你就开枪!我穿了红衣服,死后变成厉鬼找你报仇!”

      杀手愣了愣,上下仔细地打量了我一阵,然后慢慢收起了枪。我心里一阵狂喜,终于逃过这一劫了。

      忽然,杀手一扬手甩出了一把飞刀,直接刺中了我的咽喉。我捂住脖子慢慢倒下,呻吟着问:“为什么?”

      杀手转身走了,我听到他最后说了一句:“大色盲!花里胡哨穿了一大堆,没—件是红的。”

      护师

      那天有个人要找我拜师,我问他:“你以前跟过师父吗?”

      他说:“跟过,不过我师父死了。”

      我惊讶地问:“怎么死的?”

      他说:“那天,我师父要打坐修炼一门绝技,叫我在一旁守护。他告诫我说,你要是看到房间里有什么东西,你没有动它,它却自己动起来了,就说明鬼在那里。你就拿我的宝剑一剑刺过去杀了它!师父开始打坐,我握着宝剑时刻警惕着房间里的动静。忽然我听到了脚步声,我顺着声音看去,鞋柜里的一双拖鞋自己走了出来,向师父的方向而去。我毫不犹豫,冲过去对着拖鞋上方就是一剑。手上什么感觉也没有,可是当我抽回剑一看,上面有一道血痕。过了一会儿,我又听到了一阵轻微的沙沙声。我顺着声音看去,只见书桌上的一本书被打开了,书页在来回地翻转。房间里没开窗,不会是风吹的,一定是鬼!我毫不犹豫地冲过去对着书本上方又是一剑。这次剑上没有血痕,但却挂了一片衣角。过了好久再没有动静了,但是我感觉到房间里有些异样。我目光扫过房间的每一个角落,并没有发现有自己在动的东西。这是怎么回事?我的感觉告诉我一定有东西在动!我一回头,终于发现了,不是别的东西在动,是我师父动了。只见他慢慢摇晃着身子,手臂举起又放下,做着一系列奇怪的动作。师父是在打坐,绝不会自己动的,一定是鬼在动!我毫不犹豫地一剑刺了过去。师父发出一声惨叫,向后一倒,就这么死了。”

      我看着他点点头道:“你悟性这么高,恐怕没人敢做你的师父,我建议你还是自学成才吧。”

      送你回老家

      年底了,外来打工的人都纷纷回了老家,周助却还没走。他不是不想回去,只是因为手里的钱都用完了,连买回去车票的钱都没有了。

      他苦恼地对天长叹道:“天啊,要是有人能送我回老家就好了。”

      他郁闷地在大街上闲逛,忽然看到路边竖起了一块大牌子,上面写着一行大字:“送你回老家!”

      他心动了,走上前去一看,两个男人站在一辆车边举着那块大牌子对他笑道:“兄弟,要回老家吗?我们送你。”

      周助怀疑地问:“要钱吗?”

      一个男人说:“既然是送,当然不要钱啦,我们是免费献爱心的。你跟我们走就是啦!”

      周助一听开心极了,报上老家的地址,跟着两个男人就上了车。车开了没一会儿忽然停了,两个男人把周助推下了车。周助一看,周围是一片穷街陋巷,四下无人。两个男人夹住周助露出了凶恶的嘴脸。

      周助叫道:“你们不是要送我回老家吗,这是干什么?”

      一个男人拔出一把大砍刀哈哈大笑道:“我们没有骗你啊,我们会砍了你的头,送你回老家的!要怪只能怪你自己,世道险恶,你却还这么天真。”

      两个男人把周助按倒在地,挥起大砍刀对着他的脖子砍了下去??煽诚轮笏倾蹲×耍褐苤弊由瞎雎湎吕吹木谷徊皇侨送?,而是个大西瓜。这时就见没了头的周助一个翻身,从地上爬起来飞速地逃走了。

      两个男人诧异地说:“乖乖,这小子会变戏法啊!”

      周助跑了好远之后才停了下来,他摸摸自己的腰,从里面拿出了一个头放到自己的脖子上道:“世道真是险恶,还好我把脑袋别在裤腰带上了!”

    Tags: 炮灰 车祸

    本文网址://www.muwbz.com/guigushi/153766.html (手机阅读)

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