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  • [广西快3] [手机访问]

    福彩3d开奖结果:广西快3

    当前位置: 广西快3 > 笑话段子 > 

    笑话16则

    时间:2018-09-19 16:30来源:广西快3 作者: 朱守东等

    广西快3 www.muwbz.com     书的作用朱守东
        有个漂亮美眉,不管出门干什么都要带一本书,许多人都称赞她爱学习。她说:"才不呢,我带书是给别人看的,我每天拿不同的书在手里,为的是搭配衣服的颜色。"
        马上就写艾沙
        有一天,王大爷去商店买食品,他拿起一个面包,可是怎么也找不到生产日期,于是问售货员:"这面包怎么没有生产日期???"
        售货员过来找了一会儿,也没有找到,便拿起笔说:"不用担心,我马上就给你写上。"
        还没想好文洁
        热闹的婚礼上,一大群新娘的女友围着新郎新娘高声嚷着:"亲一个,亲一个……"
        新郎憋红了脸,紧张得不知所措,新娘嗔怒地对新郎说:"你怎么还不亲?"新郎立刻说:"她们都要我亲,我还没想好先亲哪一个。"
        开罐头吴思
        女生寝室里有一阵流行吃罐头。一日小莉买回一瓶罐头,可这瓶罐头封得很紧,手劲最大的女生拧了半天也没拧开。
        小莉急了,怒吼一声:"我来!"只见她憋足了劲,涨红了脸,拼命地拧、拧、拧……只听"啪"的一声,众女生齐声欢呼,不料小莉极为羞涩地小声嘀咕道:"不是啊……是我的腰带断开了……"大家哗然。
        美女埋单朱龙刚
        一个美女走进酒吧找了个角落坐下,服务员道:"请问要点什么?"
        美女道:"我刚才进来的时候有没有男人看我?"服务员感到很奇怪,答道:"没有。"
        美女说:"看来没有人给我埋单了——来点便宜的吧。"
        巴西咖啡麦子
        在莫斯科的一个餐厅里,侍应生走到一位先生跟前"这是您要的咖啡。这饮料非常出色,纯天然,是从巴西来的!"
        那先生呷了口咖啡,赞道:"真不错啊,那么大老远的运来,居然还是热的!"
        女秘书陈明智
        莫尔经理目不转睛地看着新来的女秘书。
        人事处长在一旁耳语道:"四个孩子了!"
        莫尔经理惊诧地说:"不可能!这么年轻漂亮!四个孩子?"
        人事处长嗫嚅着说:"我不是说她……是说你……"
        失误丁丽娜
        杂货店开张第一天,店老板收到了一束鲜花,当他看到夹在花中的卡片时,顿时惊呆了,只见卡片上写着"深表同情".他看了半天,没弄明白这是怎么回事,这时,花店老板打来电话,为放错卡片而道歉。
        杂货店老板说:"我也是商人,发生这种情况,我可以理解。"
        "但是,我把应该送给你的卡片送到了别人的葬礼上。"
        "哦,卡片上都写了什么?"杂货店老板问。
        "祝贺你乔迁新址!"花店老板回答。
        酒徒吴思
        一个好酒之徒碰到了一位朋友,死气白赖地要到朋友家去喝酒。
        朋友说:"我家太远了。"
        酒鬼说:"不要紧,再远也不过二三十里路吧!"
        "我家很狭窄,不好待客。"朋友继续推托道。
        酒鬼笑道:"能够有个地方让我张开嘴就行了。"
        朋友急了,说:"我家连个酒杯也没有。"
        "太好了!"酒鬼乐了,"我习惯整瓶整瓶地喝。"
        肉食者的歪论林中鸟
        在一家餐厅里,两个人正在用餐。素食者:"老兄,你不觉得这是一件很残忍的事情吗?"
        肉食者:"什么?"
        素食者:"想想看,你正要吃的东西在一个小时前还是活生生的呢!"
        肉食者:"那我能怎么办?它都已经死了,我总不能让它死无葬身之地吧?"
        空欢喜文洁
        有个姓张的同学,一直暗恋班上的一个女孩。这天,他好不容易有了和这个女孩共进午餐的机会,两人边吃边聊,突然,女孩叫了一声:"张郎!"
        张同学几乎幸福得晕过去,不知所措地大吃特吃。
        女孩奇怪地说:"你的碗里有只蟑螂,你怎么还吃???"
        全部家当任芳
        两个酒鬼在大街上邂逅,其中一个人背着一只硕大无比的编织袋,里面装满了空酒瓶。酒友问他:"你这是去哪儿???废品收购站吗?"
        "不是,我老婆把我撵出来了,我临走时她扔出一句话‘收拾起你的全部家当,滚出去!"
        离婚的目的 陈历智
        一对夫妻来到民政局办理离婚手续。
        工作人员问:"为什么离婚?"
        丈夫无奈地回答:"她想多个纪念日拿来庆祝。"
        工作人员疑惑地说:"多个纪念日,多一个什么纪念日???"
        妻子笑着说:"复婚纪念日啊,怎么样,这主意不错吧!"
        都是一个场的赵清川
        小孙骑自行车不小心和一个老头撞到了一块,老头从地上爬起来,拍拍身上的土,说:"小伙子,骑车要小心,你的路还长,不像我,没几步路可走了。"
        小孙"噌"的一下从地上蹦起来,便和老头吵了起来,老头也不生气,等小孙骂累了,才说:"小伙子,何必呢,咱们都是一个场的,有什么可计较的?"
        "一个场的?"小孙迷惑了,愣愣地看着老头。
        老头慢条斯理地说:"咱们最后不都得去火葬场吗?"
        吃亏陈明智
        小杨与一女孩在周末的早上初次约会,临别,女孩对他说:"你其他什么都好,就是肚内空了点……我们这事就算了。"
        小杨感叹地说:"真绝了,我妈让我吃早餐,我等不及,空着肚皮就赶来了,真是‘不听老人言,吃亏在眼前??!"
        多子女家庭陈明智
        火车包厢里进来一位太太和六个孩子。孩子们又叫又闹,又推又打。同包厢的一名旅客挺不高兴地说:"出门旅行的时候,起码要把一半子女留在家里……"
        那太太叹了口气,说:"我正是这样做的。"

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